


A Reminder

by S_Horne



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 23:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14319525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Horne/pseuds/S_Horne
Summary: "Through every fight I’ve had in this new life of mine, it was the thought of getting back to you that kept me going. Every injury I had or any time it felt like I couldn’t possibly get back up, I thought of you and I was ready to go. I’ve thought of your soft snores and that little scrunch that you do with your nose when you smell coffee. I think of the way you talk to all of the electrical appliances in the house like they’re your friends and how you pretend that living with us lot drives you crazy, even though we all know you adore it. I even think of our first kiss, the sounds you make and how I want to be the only person with the privilege to hear them for the rest of our lives – and if I have any say, that will be a long time.I don’t want to go, Tony. This is one mission that I really, really don’t want to go to and I wish I could walk away, but I can’t. I don’t want to do it, but I have to."/Bucky records a message for Tony when he reports for a mission, but it's one which he hoped he would never have to leave.





	A Reminder

**Author's Note:**

> My first dip into WinterIron so please be kind. I know this is totally way out of character and possibly a little too fluffy, so apologies. 
> 
> (Also, I tried to write the first bit as though it was being said by someone full of emotion, so it might not flow properly. If that doesn't come across, please let me know)

_“If JARVIS is letting you listen to this then I’m… then I’m gone. I never wanted to have to have to do this, to leave a letter or a recording. Back in the war, everyone wrote one of these letters for their sweetheart and then they would leave it with their things in case anything ever happened to them. If anything ever did, the letter would get sent home to their gal. I never had to write one; I had my brother with me, my… Well, my mom was gone by the time I shipped out and I never had someone waiting on me at home. There were a lot of gals, but there was never one that was special enough or important enough for me to apologise to. In a way I almost wish that I still didn’t have someone waitin’ on me, because this is the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time._

_I’m sorry, Tony, I really am. I tried so hard to come back to you, I promise I did. I’ve always fought so hard for what is right and just, so I can’t walk away from this one. This is one fight that I have to do, even if it means what we’re all preparing for._

_Through every fight I’ve had in this new life of mine, it was the thought of getting back to you that kept me going. Every injury I had or any time it felt like I couldn’t possibly get back up, I thought of you and I was ready to go. I’ve thought of your soft snores and that little scrunch that you do with your nose when you smell coffee. I think of the way you talk to all of the electrical appliances in the house like they’re your friends and how you pretend that living with us lot drives you crazy, even though we all know you adore it. I even think of our first kiss, the sounds you make and how I want to be the only person with the privilege to hear them for the rest of our lives – and if I have any say, that will be a long time._

_I don’t want to go, Tony. This is one mission that I really, really don’t want to go to and I wish I could walk away, but I can’t. I don’t want to do it, but I have to. Not only can I not leave Steve on his own, but I can't... God, Tony. I can't, I just - please. You have to know that I'm not just doing this on a whim or that I haven't thought it through. I have._ _I swear I have, but t_ _here isn’t an option of me not doing this one. I know that if I don’t, if even a part of me stayed behind and wasn’t completely in this, then it could end in a total disaster and it would stick with me forever. You have to know that I don’t want to leave you, but I need to do this. I don’t have a choice; not with my job or my conscience._

_I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone on this one and I don’t want to think about what could happen. I haven’t even been told where we’re going yet and we’re leaving in less than half an hour. Wherever it is, I know it’s not going to be somewhere I can call and check in. Iron Man could be a tremendous asset to this mission – and my God, so would you, you brilliant, wonderful man, – but I can’t tell you how glad I am that you aren’t actually an active SHIELD agent and therefore weren’t brought in for this. I couldn’t bear it if you were out there, darlin’; I need you safe and well…Well, as safe as you can be in the lives that we lead._

_I’m sorry that I won’t be there when you wake up this morning and I’m sorry that I can’t say this goodbye in person. I know that if I had to face you and tell you what I was walking in to and know that it might be the last time I could see you, I wouldn’t be able to go. Just having to leave you in bed to report to base and suit up was hell. I had to sneak away to record this for you because I can’t leave without saying some sort of goodbye, as much as I hope you won’t ever have to watch this._

_I love you, doll. I love you in a way I thought that I would never experience. You gave me a home when I was lost and I hate the idea that I’m taking that away from you._

_I wish with every fibre of my being that we were normal people. I wish we worked 9 to 5 jobs where we could come home and fight over whose turn it was to cook dinner instead of fighting aliens to save the world. I wish we could just curl around each other to sleep through a movie instead of battling nightmares about what we’ve done. I dream of a different life; a life where I don’t have to leave you to go to battle, a life where we could have met by chance in a dance hall or a café somewhere. But that’s not what we have._

_Please forgive me, sweetheart. I never wanted to leave you alone; never wanted you to have someone else leave you. I’m sorry, Tony, but I need to do this._

_You’re my best guy and I love you._

_Be safe.”_

“Why are you listening to that again?”

Tony jumped a little at the familiar voice from behind him. He twisted his head over his shoulder to throw a small smile at the man standing in the doorway. Tony leant back into the couch cushions as he raised an eyebrow and gave a casual shrug.

“I just asked J to play me the latest chart list and he put that on.”

Bucky let out a little chuckle as he walked into the living room, chucking his duffle back into one corner as he stalked across the floor with his eyes staying trained on the man in front of him. He was on the couch in a matter of seconds and pushed Tony down until he was holding himself over his partner. With his eyes still locked onto Tony’s as the man's mouth opened, Bucky took his lover’s face in his hands and bent to kiss him passionately before Tony could make another comment. The kiss deepened almost at first touch and Bucky moaned when Tony sighed into his mouth at the long-awaited kiss. When Bucky tried to pull away, Tony’s hands surged up to grip at his forearms and pulled him back down, a delicious shiver racking the whole of Tony’s body when Bucky’s metal hand slid up to cradle the back of his head.

“I missed you,” Bucky whispered when he finally pulled away, though he didn’t break contact with Tony and kept their foreheads pressed together.

“I missed you too,” Tony replied, his voice a little shaky as he tilted his head and pressed kisses to Bucky’s metal wrist.

“Why was that playing, Tony?” Bucky asked, the burning question punching out of him on an exhale, “That mission was a year ago and I don’t want to think about it.” Tony didn’t reply and his lips stopped moving on Bucky’s face until the other man sighed and buried his head into Tony’s shoulder. “I’m here sweetheart; I came back. I was only on a small case for four days this time. You don’t need to play that. You don't  _ever_  need to play that.”

Tony was quiet for a moment before his eyes slipped closed and he slid his hands up Bucky’s arms until he wrapped them around his partner’s shoulders and held him close. “I listen to it every time you leave me,” he finally admitted and Bucky's heart broke just a little bit. He lifted his head again and took Tony’s lips once more.

“I don’t want you to listen to that,” Bucky began when they broke apart again.

“I want to –,” Tony tried to interrupt, but Bucky cut him off with a sharp shake of his head.

“No.”

Bucky’s voice was quiet but forceful and Tony’s mouth snapped shut. Bucky stared until Tony leant forward and pressed another kiss to Bucky’s lips. He gently wrapped his arms around a slightly-shaking Bucky and coaxed him down until Bucky was lying flat on the couch, leaning against Tony’s side with his head pillowed on the genius’s chest as the man carded his fingers through Bucky’s thick hair.

“Let me listen to it,” Tony said, his voice soft and barely audible. Bucky tensed up at Tony’s words, but Tony stroked his hands down his back to calm him. “I know you don’t like remembering it, nor do I for those reasons, but it tells me that you’re coming back to me.”

“But, ugh – no, it…”

“Shush,” Tony soothed, “I know. I don’t like thinking about _that_ , but you went, Buck. You went and you saved so many and yet you still came back to me. You’ll always come back to me.”

“Of course I will,” Bucky whispered around a yawn. His eyes began to droop and his tight grip on Tony's shirt lessened with every second.

“I know, sweetheart,” Tony dropped a kiss to Bucky’s head and smiled softly as the other man’s breathing began to even out, the exhaustion from his battle finally hitting him, “I know you will. And if you ever don’t, I’ll know how hard you tried.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe if you didn't hate it you could come to my [tumblr?](http://s-horne.tumblr.com/)


End file.
